This weekend, my improv group, Dumpster Tequila, went on a road trip. And I have to say, it was just magical. In improv, there’s a thing called “group mind,” which is when everyone in the group is so linked in their collective consciousness, they instinctively know what moves the others are going to make. Well, it’s like Providence and Dumpster Tequila had developed some sort of group mind. We knew where to go, and it knew where to take us.

After enjoying a delicious breakfast in NYC, we hopped on the bus to Providence (after the Aaron Carter dance party in line, of course). Many rounds of Scrabble and road trip games ensued, and of course we got yelled at for being too loud. Sorry ‘bout it. Anyway, it quickly came to my attention that, though I was the one who brought it up in the planning of the trip, I hadn’t brought my bathing suit, while mostly everyone else had. You guys, I love swimming. I was devastated. But wouldn’t you know it, there was a mall within walking distance of our hotel (Providence!).

Everyone knows bathing suit shopping sucks balls. And this was no exception. There was barely anything for me to try on. At the second store I went to, I was about to settle for an ugly, too-expensive mom bathing suit, when I saw it. Right by the register, shining like a blue beacon. An adorable suit in my size that was ten dollars cheaper. After a quick trip to the dressing room, where it obviously fit, I bought it, only to find out it was on sale (Providence!).

After a delicious dinner in a fun bar with a weirdo painting of dead musical legends in a Last Supper-like pose (a smiling Kurt Cobain next to John Lennon with Biggie standing nearby), we took our swim. Later that night, we had a great show, but little did we know, the best was yet to come. As we came out of the beautiful theatre, we heard music. Not just any music, but…a marching band? Sure enough, we rounded the corner and saw a huge group of people spilling into the street being lead by a brass band. We quickly followed them into a park and were treated to an amazing impromptu encore by a band (we later found out) called What Cheer? Brigade. We stuck around dancing (though not as joyously as the band’s fans) until the cops came. It was maybe one of the coolest things I’ve been a part of (Providence!).

Sunday, after a delicious brunch, we stumbled upon an amazing art project done by a group called Tape Art for the 375th anniversary of the city. They are making a mural inside an outdoor ice rink out of tape and plywood. We took lots of pictures and talked to the artists. They work on their pieces for weeks, but once complete, they’re only up for twenty-four hours. This will be done tomorrow and gone by Thursday. How lucky we got to see it (Providence!).

And after walking around seeing all the old houses, Brown University (No, Emma Watson doesn’t go there anymore), and the State House, our perfect road trip had to come to a perfect end. And even the most perfect road trip isn’t without its setbacks. Our three and a half hour bus trip home? It took five and a half hours. Thanks, Providence!

Obligatory reference to how long it’s been since I’ve blogged.

Now that that’s out of the way, on to more important things. Words cannot even
describe how excited I am. After almost twenty years of hope and several months of planning, yesterday I bought tickets to see the stage show of Newsies. I blogged about this two posts ago (which was four months ago :-/), but now it’s actually happening. In October, Emily, my Newsies friend Katie, my sister Maureen, and I will be seeing the Working Boys of New York live on stage.

One of the best parts of all of this — from Disney announcing they were working on a stage version, to Paper Mill announcing their fall season, to me announcing I bought my tickets — is the reaction of my friends. Everyone is so happy for ME. Not for Disney, not for Alan Menken, not even for the actors who were cast in the show. Me. There are so many comments of “It’s finally happening for you!,” and “Enjoy!,” and “You’ve wanted this for so long!” But mostly people are saying, “I hope for their sake it’s good, because I wouldn’t want to see you if it’s bad.” And I can’t say that I blame them.

I recently saw Sister Act the Musical on Broadway. Now I love the movies (yes both of them). But I can’t say I loved the musical. And I had been really excited for it. I ended up seeing it twice (the first time for free), and while I enjoyed it more the second time, it still didn’t hit for me. They made so many changes I felt were unnecessary. Some were just baffling, like moving the story to 1970s Philadelphia. And some made me really angry, like the way the services turned into a cheap stage show, instead of just becoming refreshingly modern. If the changes to Sister Act could get me this upset, I can only imagine what damage could be done to Newsies.

So, here are some things I would like to see in the Newsies stage show:

*Tighten up the ending; it’s weird.

*Either expand or remove the Sarah character. And get an actress who can act.

*Keep as true to the choreography as possible. Or just hire Kenny Ortega.

*I would be fine with getting rid of Medda and her songs.

*For god’s sake, keep the Prologue.

*Amazing new songs.

*Someone singing the shit out of Patrick’s Mother’s solo.

*Magic/Children smoking.

Don’t screw it up, or I’ll soak ya!

It’s a Valentine’s Day miracle! The most amazing thing has happened. No, I didn’t run into Jonathan Taylor Thomas on the street, making him fall in love with me. And no, *NSYNC isn’t reuniting. And we all know I didn’t get a call to come in for a Jeopardy interview. But something about as amazing as all of those things was announced today. In the fall, Paper Mill Playhouse will be starting their season with a production of Newsies!!! And while it’s not Broadway, Paper Mill is a well-respected and amazing theatre in New Jersey. Holy crap.

I can’t really say why this is so amazing, but trust me, it is. Ever since I was little, I’ve loved Newsies. I was nine when it came out, and after that it was on Disney channel nonstop. The songs, the story, and the boys were all a part of my childhood. Newsies planted in my head that New York was cool, even in the days of child labor. Brooklyn was tough, and Spot Conlon was a hottie. That’s where I wanted to be, and that’s where I live now. Speaking of, where’s my Spot Conlon? I guess I don’t hang out at the docks enough. Maybe I should buy a sling shot.

Anyway, as soon as I heard this news (Ha! News.), there was one person I needed to share it with: my friend Katie. Katie and I are friends because of Newsies. To make a long story short, we went to different high schools and got in a fight at a Speech team tournament about whether one of my classmates looked like Spot (he didn’t). Then she invited me to go swing dancing. Because it was 1999, and we had a mutual love of Swing Kids, obvi. We’ve been friends ever since, and while our relationship is more than Christian Bale movies, that was the catalyst.

And so, come fall many worlds will collide. This old idea of New York I’ve had in my head since I was nine will meet my current life in New York. I’ll be able to share Newsies with Emily for our Vlog, and also share it once again with Katie, but in a much different way. So, no pressure Alan Menken and Harvey Fierstein, but this show better not suck. You’ve got my childhood, friendships, and life choices in your hands.

P.S. If you need someone to sing Patrick’s Mom in Carrying the Banner, I’d be more than happy to help!

Well, it has begun: the holiday season.  For me, it starts with Halloween and goes straight through New Year’s.  Yep, about two months worth.  I’ve already caught flack for the fact that I start listening to Christmas music November 1st (more on that later), but I don’t care.  This is my celebration.  And if my Halloween was any indication of how awesome this year’s festivities will be, things are looking good! 

I had a great weekend of parties and costumes and babies.  As I’ve previously stated in this blog, I love Halloween costumes.  This year, I had a pretty amazing costume, and I’ve never been happier that ugly clothes are back in fashion.  You see, I was Clarissa Darling, that early ’90s Nickelodeon star who would explain it all.  She wore bright colors and lots of obnoxious jewelry.  And I spent about $55 at Kmart and Claire’s Accessories finding the perfect elements to make my costume.  The only thing I was missing were combat boots, which I own, but are at my parents’ house in Chicago.  If only I would have thought of it sooner…  Ah, well.  I went to a great party Friday and got delightfully (I think…I don’t recall slapping anyone) drunk.  The rest of the weekend was spent with adorable babies in costume and handing out candy to trick-or-treaters.  How fantastic.  Anyway, here’s my costume along with its inspiration:

So, onto the next holiday of the season, which you are correct to say is Thanksgiving.  But in my world, Thanksgiving may as well be Christmas Eve.  Don’t get me wrong; I love Thanksgiving.  To me, Thanksgiving is about sharing a meal with people you love and being with my New York family.  Now, I’m lucky enough to have a sister nearby, who is, obviously, my actual family.  But I’ve also been welcomed into this glorious chosen family of hers.  And every year since I’ve moved here, we’ve all had Thanksgiving together.  But I know that some year, were she not to be around for Thanksgiving, I would be welcome at numerous other tables of those in New York who I love and who love me.  Oh, the holidays do make me sentimental, don’t they?  On a lighter note, I also love Thanksgiving for the pie.

As I stated earlier, I caused a bit of an angry convo on facebook when I updated my status that I was listening to Christmas music.  That’s my rule: November 1st.  And that rule isn’t to make me start celebrating early, it’s to keep me from celebrating even sooner!  Christmas means all things winter to me, and winter is my most favorite season.  No joke, I love when the wind is so cold it stings your face.  And once you enter a warm building, you can still feel that sting on your face.  And you can just tell your cheeks and nose are red.  And snow!  Don’t get me started on snow.  In the words of Lorelai Gilmore, fellow snow-lover, “The world changes when it snows.  It gets quiet.  Everything softens.”  Now, I get why it annoys people that stores start putting out one holiday’s items before another holiday has even happened, but I can’t help it.  Sometimes, in the middle of the summer, I’ll just get this Christmasy feeling out of nowhere and wish it were December.  So you don’t have to break out your *NSYNC Home for Christmas CD, but I’m gonna go load it on my iPod.  Don’t begrudge me that.

It’s that time again: October baseball!  Now, neither of my teams are still in it.  The White Sox started slowly, had a strong mid-season, and petered out at the end.  And the Mets…well, I told you guys Jerry Manuel sucks.  But, I still love the Postseason.  Okay, non-baseball fans, that’s all the sports talk you’ll have to endure.  Because the real point is that I happen to be cat-sitting at my sister’s and I have the game on.  But if I were at my house, I wouldn’t be able to watch it.  Fox and Cablevision are fighting, and millions of people, including me, are the ones losing out.  If my sister didn’t have Time Warner, I wouldn’t know that the Giants have a rookie named Buster Posey.  Buster Posey!  You’re welcome for that gem, fellow Cablevision customers.

Now, I don’t know if it’s a New York thing, or a digital cable thing, but, in my youth, I don’t ever remember channels being turned off because two rich companies were arguing over which company would get richer.  And it’s certainly not a coincidence that this is happening now.  Cablevision, you’re not fooling me.  Fox is losing out on big ratings; why would they be cool with cutting off service unless you were trying to screw them over?  And with the Rocky Horror Glee episode airing next week, Fox must really be hoping this is resolved.  And pretty damn quickly.  Cablevision also happened to get into a dispute with ABC right before the Ocsars were to air.  Interesting, huh?  ABC was suddenly missing from all of our TVs on the day of the Oscars, only to return to the air about 15 minutes into the ceremony.  Of course, we had all made alternate viewing plans.  My friends had to relocate a party they had been planning.

In fact, in the year I’ve been a Cablevision customer, there have been three (three!) interruptions of service.  I’m sure the networks and channels’ parent companies are as much to blame in the situation, but all I have helping me judge is a condescending message that is read by a calming female voice whenever I turn on my TV.  Well, you know what, Cablevision?  I don’t care who’s to blame.  All I care about is getting the services I pay (a lot) of money for.  And I care that I wasn’t able to see my friend Rachel on her Food Network reality show when it began airing.  You took Food Network from me?!  How could you?!  I had to watch it online.  So let that be a warning to get your shit together, cable companies, because the Internet is reading this post right now, laughing it’s streaming-content ass off.

BTW, here’s Buster Posey:

Oh my god.  I haven’t blogged in awhile because when you last heard from me, I was preparing for the arrival of eleven family members.  Before they came, I had another friend come stay with me, so I needed to clean my apartment.  All of this plus my work, improv, and Patty & Emily duties, then the actual arrival of my family, meant I’ve been extremely busy.  Add to all of this my crazy and you have a very overwhelmed Patty.  And yet, the visit was a success!  My family, I hope, had a great time.  And while I may have stressed out too much, as I am wont to do, I also had a great time.  I got to go to a lot of tourist sites I hadn’t been to, and some others I didn’t mind visiting again.  And I got to share Memphis with them!  That may have been my favorite part.  That and spending time with my nieces and nephew.  Oh man, are they cute!

Of course, all this family time left me behind on my TV!  It’s the beginning of the season, and I’m behind on almost all of my scripted shows!  I’ve kept up with my competition reality shows for fear of being spoiled: your ANTM, you Top Chef: Just Desserts, your Project Runway.  I did let DWTS fall by the wayside, though.  Perhaps I’ll just skip the aired episodes and start off next Monday.  As stated, it’s a show I’m not 100% invested in.  The two scripted shows I am on top of are Glee and Bones.  I mean, I obviously can’t wait too long to watch Glee.  I’ll be watching this week’s ep as soon as I’m done here.  And Bones is my current Dawson’s, my Gilmore Girls.  The show whose characters I can’t be without even if the writers don’t always do them justice.  (That season premier was a waste of an episode, but last week’s was great.)  But I’m behind on, I think, every other show I watch.  I have to catch up on 30 Rock because the live episode is this week.  And then there’s The Good Wife and Mike & Molly.  I haven’t even watched their premiers!  Geez.  I’m getting tired just thinking about everything I have to watch.  Good thing I love it.

And just like my family’s visit and the sheer amount of TV I have to watch, I’ve been a little overwhelmed, in a good way, the past few days thanks to Patty & Emily.  We got some more great news regarding the Mutual Admiration Society we’ve formed with Memphis.  And we’ve had a little more Internet magic (which of course is where the Mutual Admiration Society began) courtesy of Twitter.  You see, we made this little video, An Open Letter to Kristin Chenoweth, about out concerns for her Internet safety.  Well, a friend of hers sent it to her, and she tweeted about it!  She called it “HIGHlarious,” and now fangirls every where are cursing us for advising her to stop tweeting her location.  We got negative YouTube comments!  Complete with poor grammar.  I can’t tell you how happy that makes me.  So, yeah.  I have a lot of sleep to catch up on, a lot of crumbs to vacuum up (three kids in my two room apartment), a lot of TV to watch, and a lot of poorly worded comments to read.  But I’ll definitely take feeling this kind of overwhelmed rather than being underwhelmed with my life…or even just being whelmed (which I think you can be in Europe).

So, in my improv class tonight, this girl told the craziest story.  She used to work in film production and was working an event Universal was throwing to honor Julia Roberts for her work in Erin Brockovich.  One of the attendees was George Clooney.  This girl was helping a bunch of executives get settled at the event, and George came up to her and asked if she would hang out with him because he didn’t really know anyone.  Of course she was like, okay!  So she hangs out with George Clooney all night, and when the event is over, escorts everyone to the hotel lobby to get cabs to go to the airport.  George holds the car door open for her and asks her to come to LA with him and then onto Vegas.  She’s like, “George!  I can’t.  I live in New York!”  George says, “Come!  It’ll be so much fun.  Just come to LA with me.”  Well, she then informed George Clooney that she had just gotten engaged and couldn’t just run off with him.  He dipped her, kissed her, and said it was too bad. 

What the What?!  That is the stuff of movies.  Quite literally.  Notting Hill.  Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!.  It’s a simple formula: regular person meets celebrity, celebrity falls for regular person.  And here it was in someone’s real life, and she turned down the movie star.  The entire time she was telling this story, I was thinking how it sounded like all the fantasies I’ve had about celebrities.  As a child, I loved Joey McIntyre from NKOTB.  Whenever my friend Mandy and I would play house, we’d always fight over who was married to him.  Whoever lost that fight would end up being married to his non-existent twin brother, who we made up for the purpose of this game.  Imaginative, but pretty simple stuff.  As I got older, however, the scenarios grew more elaborate.

When walking around my suburban Chicago neighborhood in junior high, I would frequently have this one fantasy about Jonathan Taylor Thomas.  I’d be enjoying the day, minding my own business, when he would come running around the corner.  You see, a pack of girls would be chasing him, and he only just got away.  I, of course, would give him refuge in my house.  Then we’d get to talking:  He was here visiting an aunt.  I was a fan, but still saw him as a person.  And so on.  He’d obviously fall in love with me, and we would be boyfriend and girlfriend.  Since this was before everyone had cell phones, he would give me a long range walkie-talkie, so we could talk to each other when he went back to LA.  Yup.

I also had this very specific fantasy about my class trip to Disney World sophomore year of high school.  As Leonardo DiCaprio had filmed part of Marvin’s Room there, I thought it was logical that he’d maybe shoot another movie there.  And this movie would happen to be shooting when we were there for our trip.  And he would happen to have a day off on the day of our performance, and, of course, happen to wander by as I was singing some solo.  He would fall in love with me despite my 16 years, and I would attend the Oscars with him in a replica of the red and black beaded dress Rose wore when she tried to jump off the Titanic to her death.  Wow.

I still have these crazy fantasies, especially living in New York.  There are so many celebrities everywhere, most of the fantasies involve me literally running into people, starting a conversation, and them realizing how amazing I am.  Justin Timberlake is one of them, of course.  As an adult, though, they’re not all about cute boys.  This scenario also works with Tina Fey.  I accidentally bump into her.  We share a brief, but terribly witty conversation.  She thinks I’m hilarious and hires me for 30 Rock.  That’s how it’s done, right?  None of this hard work at relationships or your career.  You just meet a celebrity and they make all your dreams come true.  Unfortunately, the girl in my improv class only reinforced this message in my head.  That one day Jonathan Taylor Thomas will ask me to run away with him.  But I will say yes.

Dudes, it is HOT in NYC.  So hot, the electric company told us all to keep our air conditioners at 78 degrees.  I’ll do you one better, ConEd.  I don’t have an air conditioner.  My windows have been closed all day, I’ve got one fan on me, and it’s cooler in here than it is outside.  I’m doing my part.  And yet…  I’ve been in New York for over three and a half years, and I’ve not experienced a blackout.  Is it weird that I kind of want to?

If you’re anywhere near my age, and you lived anywhere besides New York, Friends was your go-to for what living in New York was like.  And for the most part, it’s a lie.  You never live that close to all your friends.  Not only is the size of Monica and Rachel’s apartment laughable, but the size difference between that and Chandler and Joey’s place is ridiculous.  Also, there are way more minorities.  But all those falsehoods don’t mean Friends didn’t have anything New York-y.  For example, playing football in the park, ugly naked people, creepy supers, etc.  And, in the first season, there was a blackout.  Okay, New York, it was 102 today.  Friends says New York has blackouts.  I’ll be hanging out in bank vestibules tomorrow in the hopes of getting stuck in one with a supermodel.

The closest I came to actually being in a blackout, was watching the last one on reality TV.  In 2003, MTV aired the first and final season of Rich Girls, a show about Tommy Hilfiger’s daughter Ally and her friend Jaime.  It’s as awesome as it sounds.  Watching the blackout in this context is hilarious.  Yes, Ally is in a taxi rightfully upset because they don’t know what’s going on, and why nothing is working.  But we don’t watch MTV reality shows for realism.  We watch because Jaime thinks the TV is going to explode, and the guy in the taxi with Ally compares the situation to being in Baghdad.  Amazing.  Skip to 3:55 in the video for the laughs.  Or watch the whole thing because the show’s amazing.

Okay, I need to stop because the heat from my computer battery is making my fingers sweat.  But first, read this funny survival guide from the Village Voice.  It seems more reliable than Friends.

Well guys, today was the first official day of summer.  The longest day of the year.  And it was balls hot in New York City.  And I don’t have air conditioning.  I’m like A Time to Kill-level sweaty right now.  Summer is my least favorite season.  In case you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m a nerd, a stickler for the rules.  I really liked school when I was little.  I got bored during summer.  I mean, I was involved in a lot, so I wasn’t just lazing about, but I missed the structure.  Plus, there was no good TV on (which is still true).  It was all reruns, miniseries, and sucky shows that weren’t good enough for the traditional TV season.  Oh, yeah.  Did I mention it was HOT?

There are, of course, things I do like about the summer.  Baseball and summer go hand in hand for me.  Sure, Spring training starts in February and the World Series is in October, but summer means baseball.  And baseball means a good time, usually with my sisters and my dad, friends, beer, and peanuts.  Summer also means swimming.  Oh, man, do I love swimming.  When I was little, that’s what I loved most about the summer.  Sure, I’d rather be in school, but the pool was the next best thing.  There aren’t so many pools in NYC, which makes me sad.  But apparently, there’s a nice one in Red Hook that I’ll be going to with my nephew!  I can’t wait.  NYC also has some pretty nice beaches nearby, which I plan on going to some more this summer.  Though I’m not a huge fan of salt water, I do love to swim in a natural body of water.  Have I mentioned I love swimming?

I’m also a fan of the Summer Blockbuster, as those in the industry (and everyone else) call a big summer movie.  I even saw one already, though I’m not sure if that name fits.  I mean, it’s not ID4 epic, but it did make $109 million in its first weekend.  Now, if you’ve been reading my blog, you should know what movie it was: Toy Story 3!  It was fantastic!  Everything I wanted it to be, and so much I didn’t know I even needed.  I’m also looking forward to Eclipse because it will be terrible and probably an amazing movie-going experience.  I know New Moon was.  Those two are maybe the only summer movies I’m really looking forward to.  Well, those and the Grease Sing-a-Long.  Obvi.

One thing that’s been missing from my life for awhile now is the Summer Jam.  I found I do less jamming in New York, since most of my jamming, especially during the summer, was done while driving.  It’s just not the same quietly jamming to yourself on the subway with your headphones on.  Now that I have my own apartment, however, I plan on enjoying my current Summer Jam pick, Lady GaGa’s “Eh, Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say).”  I know it came out as a single in the winter, but tell me it doesn’t have a nice summer feel to it.  It’s perfect!  Perhaps something will come along to replace it, but until then, I’ll open my windows, blast my jam, and sing a long at the top of my lungs as if I were driving to the pool to teach swimming lessons.

And now please enjoy this scene from The Sandlot, which combines the things I love about summer: baseball, swimming, and movies.  And it has a pretty sweet jam in it as well:

I’m super excited to see Toy Story 3 this weekend.  I love the first two so much, and Pixar knows how to make good movies, so I trust them with a sequel.  There’s one thing I’m not excited about, though.  Seeing Toy Story 3.  But wait, Patty, didn’t you just say you were excited for that?  Yeah, but to see Toy Story 3, it means I have to actually go to the movies.  In New York City.  Aside from the annoyance of costing a ridiculous amount of money, there are so many other factors that can ruin your (my) movie-going experience.

In 2010, there’s always the ever popular cell phone.  Look, it happens; it happened to me once.  At the theatre even, not the movies.  I had just gotten my new phone, and it’s like shutting down a computer.  You have to choose “Power Off” and then click on “OK.”  Well, I mustn’t have finished that last step because my phone rang.  I turned it off super fast with my cat-like reflexes, so it was a very short disturbance.  I was, however, mortified and now have to take the battery out of my phone when I go see shows.  So, fine.  I get that your phone might go off.  But for the love of all that is decent, DO NOT ANSWER IT!  I mean, are you kidding me?!  And don’t think you can get away with texting.  Wherever that light is coming from, my eye will be drawn to it.  Check the time, fine, but make it quick.  If you keep opening up your phone and texting, and you’re within whispering range of me, I will ask you to put it away.  Probably just once because I, as a good theatre patron, don’t want to start something and then disrupt those around us even more.

The other prevalent annoyance I come across in NYC theatres is children in attendance at inappropriate movies or inappropriate times.  I had to suck it up one day, when I was annoyed by the number of children at the movies, when I realized I was seeing How to Train Your Dragon in the middle of the day in the middle of the week.  I’m not used to seeing movies at that time, so I had to pause and realize the circumstances I was in.  Okay.  These kids are all here with their West Indian nannies.  That’s cool.  That’s when they’re supposed to go to the movies.  It was not cool, however, when I was seeing a 10:30pm showing of Kick Ass and there were two kids of about seven and ten there.  Are you kidding me?!  Not only is it 10:30 at night, but this is an extremely violent movie.  I mean, the kids probably shouldn’t be hearing the language, but really, I encourage teaching the meanings and usage of those words.  It might be a little more difficult explaining the purposely outlandish violence in regard to its commentary on society.  Especially when it’s about five hours past their bedtime by the time the nightmares begin.

So, I plan on seeing Toy Story 3 this weekend, at a time when most children should be in bed.  Hopefully, any parents in attendance will have found a sitter and turned off their phones.  I know mine will be in my purse with the battery removed.