I’ve heard this question many times in my life: “You waited how long?” Followed by the inevitable: “Was it worth it?” And honestly, I don’t know that I’ve ever answered that question in the negative. I’ve waited for many an hour on many a line for my pop culture, and it’s totally worth it.

Most recently, I probably waited the longest I ever have on line, outside even, for Standing Room Only tickets to The Book of Mormon. Yes, not only did Emily and I wait eleven hours for tickets to a show we’d already seen, but the tickets we were waiting for entitled us to stand in the back of the theatre for the duration. No seats, no backrest. Just our feet and the seat-backs in front of us to lean on. And it was 100%, no doubt about it, worth it. I obviously knew the show would be worth it. But the wait itself was part of the fun:

Waiting on line is just like going on a roadtrip. Sure, it gets a little uncomfortable, sometimes boring, and long. But just like a roadtrip, you have to be prepared. Bring activities! Dress appropriately! Start sing-alongs! (You’d think this wouldn’t go over well, but since most of my line-waiting is music related, no one usually throws things at me.) And bring good company. Of course, if you go by yourself, make friends! When you’re waiting on line for something, all the other people on that line want it just as badly as you. They’re your people! Some of them are going to be weirdos, obviously, (I mean, I’m a weirdo), but some of them are going to be awesome. And even if you never talk to them again, you will always have this line.

I’ve waited on line for Broadway shows (obvi), signings (BBMak, Carol Channing, Patti LuPone), comedy shows (UCB), drag queens (Drag Race), midnight movie releases (HP), concerts (Adam Lambert), rollercoasters (Kingda Ka), after parties (*NSYNC), and screenings (HP), among other things. I even waited in line for a Harry Potter book release and wasn’t even buying the book. (I’m a fancypants and ordered the UK publications from Amazon.) So, if you’d rather take a plane somewhere or pay for the luxury of a seat, I’ll meet you on the other side. And while I’m waiting for you, I’ll pass the time with a good round of “Going on a Picnic.”

Obligatory reference to how long it’s been since I’ve blogged.

Now that that’s out of the way, on to more important things. Words cannot even
describe how excited I am. After almost twenty years of hope and several months of planning, yesterday I bought tickets to see the stage show of Newsies. I blogged about this two posts ago (which was four months ago :-/), but now it’s actually happening. In October, Emily, my Newsies friend Katie, my sister Maureen, and I will be seeing the Working Boys of New York live on stage.

One of the best parts of all of this — from Disney announcing they were working on a stage version, to Paper Mill announcing their fall season, to me announcing I bought my tickets — is the reaction of my friends. Everyone is so happy for ME. Not for Disney, not for Alan Menken, not even for the actors who were cast in the show. Me. There are so many comments of “It’s finally happening for you!,” and “Enjoy!,” and “You’ve wanted this for so long!” But mostly people are saying, “I hope for their sake it’s good, because I wouldn’t want to see you if it’s bad.” And I can’t say that I blame them.

I recently saw Sister Act the Musical on Broadway. Now I love the movies (yes both of them). But I can’t say I loved the musical. And I had been really excited for it. I ended up seeing it twice (the first time for free), and while I enjoyed it more the second time, it still didn’t hit for me. They made so many changes I felt were unnecessary. Some were just baffling, like moving the story to 1970s Philadelphia. And some made me really angry, like the way the services turned into a cheap stage show, instead of just becoming refreshingly modern. If the changes to Sister Act could get me this upset, I can only imagine what damage could be done to Newsies.

So, here are some things I would like to see in the Newsies stage show:

*Tighten up the ending; it’s weird.

*Either expand or remove the Sarah character. And get an actress who can act.

*Keep as true to the choreography as possible. Or just hire Kenny Ortega.

*I would be fine with getting rid of Medda and her songs.

*For god’s sake, keep the Prologue.

*Amazing new songs.

*Someone singing the shit out of Patrick’s Mother’s solo.

*Magic/Children smoking.

Don’t screw it up, or I’ll soak ya!

It’s a Valentine’s Day miracle! The most amazing thing has happened. No, I didn’t run into Jonathan Taylor Thomas on the street, making him fall in love with me. And no, *NSYNC isn’t reuniting. And we all know I didn’t get a call to come in for a Jeopardy interview. But something about as amazing as all of those things was announced today. In the fall, Paper Mill Playhouse will be starting their season with a production of Newsies!!! And while it’s not Broadway, Paper Mill is a well-respected and amazing theatre in New Jersey. Holy crap.

I can’t really say why this is so amazing, but trust me, it is. Ever since I was little, I’ve loved Newsies. I was nine when it came out, and after that it was on Disney channel nonstop. The songs, the story, and the boys were all a part of my childhood. Newsies planted in my head that New York was cool, even in the days of child labor. Brooklyn was tough, and Spot Conlon was a hottie. That’s where I wanted to be, and that’s where I live now. Speaking of, where’s my Spot Conlon? I guess I don’t hang out at the docks enough. Maybe I should buy a sling shot.

Anyway, as soon as I heard this news (Ha! News.), there was one person I needed to share it with: my friend Katie. Katie and I are friends because of Newsies. To make a long story short, we went to different high schools and got in a fight at a Speech team tournament about whether one of my classmates looked like Spot (he didn’t). Then she invited me to go swing dancing. Because it was 1999, and we had a mutual love of Swing Kids, obvi. We’ve been friends ever since, and while our relationship is more than Christian Bale movies, that was the catalyst.

And so, come fall many worlds will collide. This old idea of New York I’ve had in my head since I was nine will meet my current life in New York. I’ll be able to share Newsies with Emily for our Vlog, and also share it once again with Katie, but in a much different way. So, no pressure Alan Menken and Harvey Fierstein, but this show better not suck. You’ve got my childhood, friendships, and life choices in your hands.

P.S. If you need someone to sing Patrick’s Mom in Carrying the Banner, I’d be more than happy to help!

I have been bad. It’s been almost two weeks since my last post.  Fail.  Sorry, dudes.  I’ve experienced so much pop culture since then, I’m going to give you the highlights.  As I sit here listening to the Christmas music channel on digital cable (why do I always forget about those music channels?!), let’s look back on the past two weeks, shall we?

When last we talked, it was about Prince William’s engagement.  Well, he tried to steal the thunder of another Brit, but he was unsuccessful: HP7: Part 1 opened on the 19th, and I went to a midnight showing.  You know, I just realized how annoying it is that the movies aren’t numerically symmetrical with the books, what with seven being the most magical number.  Right, Jo?  That being said, I liked the movie.  The action sequences were good.  Though, the first movie didn’t quite make the case that a split was necessary.  It was a little too slow, so for it to be worth it for me, the second movie better not leave out any detail.  Again, though, I did enjoy it.  Especially Godric’s Hollow and Malfoy Manor.  Okay, HP geeking out is over now.

The second pop culture event I took part in was seeing the Broadway musical Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown.  I’ll try to refrain from fagging out here (there will be plenty of time for that later), but the cast of this hot mess is amazing.  Patti LuPone, Sherie Rene Scott, Laura Benanti, Brian Stokes Mitchell…  If those names mean nothing to you, you should be ashamed.  This one should be familiar though: Justin Guarini!  Yep, that curly-haired moptop from season one of American Idol.  Anyway, if you love crazy trainwrecks, see this show.  It’s amazing.

The next big event (commence fagging out) was a midnight showing of Burlesque in Chelsea!  Oh.  My.  God.  That movie was amazing.  I don’t know if it was bad enough to be of Showgirls calibur, but it was pretty terrible.  And also fabulous.  The production numbers!  Cher!  Xtina!  And the fact that there was only one true burlesque number performed!  The rest were just girls doing hip-hop/jazz hybrid dances in underwear.  The audience applauded after each one, and laughed at the terrible writing/acting, which one woman got very upset about.  She kept asking her boyfriend (?), “What is so funny?  I’m not getting it.  Am I missing something?”  Brilliant.

Then there came Thanksgiving.  I spent the morning baking and watching my friends from Memphis perform in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade (I hate the lip-syncing that happens during that parade).  I spent the afternoon/evening with my sister, sister-in-law, nephew, our Brooklyn family, and Emily.  That is a day to be thankful for.  Here are my pies:

Saturday, we went to the Christmas tree farm, and picked out two beautiful trees: one for me and one for my sister’s family.  My nephew was absolutely enamored with everything Christmas: Santa, snowmen, reindeer, etc.  And yesterday, I spent all day watching Fa La La La Lifetime movies (A Diva’s Christmas Carol?  Yes, please!) and decorating my tree.  As with last year, my tree is decorated with some cheap 99¢ store ornaments, but mostly handmade ones cut out from my Entertainment Weeklys, with Ellen Degeneres serving as my angel (as she is everyone’s).  This year, there were some new additions joining last year’s Tina Fey, Bones and Booth, Heidi Montag, Lady Gaga, and others.  My tree is proud to name these amongst its occupants: the Gilmore Girls, Cher, Justin Bieber, RuPaul, and Melissa and Joey.  ‘Tis the season!  Here’s a pic:

It’s that time again: October baseball!  Now, neither of my teams are still in it.  The White Sox started slowly, had a strong mid-season, and petered out at the end.  And the Mets…well, I told you guys Jerry Manuel sucks.  But, I still love the Postseason.  Okay, non-baseball fans, that’s all the sports talk you’ll have to endure.  Because the real point is that I happen to be cat-sitting at my sister’s and I have the game on.  But if I were at my house, I wouldn’t be able to watch it.  Fox and Cablevision are fighting, and millions of people, including me, are the ones losing out.  If my sister didn’t have Time Warner, I wouldn’t know that the Giants have a rookie named Buster Posey.  Buster Posey!  You’re welcome for that gem, fellow Cablevision customers.

Now, I don’t know if it’s a New York thing, or a digital cable thing, but, in my youth, I don’t ever remember channels being turned off because two rich companies were arguing over which company would get richer.  And it’s certainly not a coincidence that this is happening now.  Cablevision, you’re not fooling me.  Fox is losing out on big ratings; why would they be cool with cutting off service unless you were trying to screw them over?  And with the Rocky Horror Glee episode airing next week, Fox must really be hoping this is resolved.  And pretty damn quickly.  Cablevision also happened to get into a dispute with ABC right before the Ocsars were to air.  Interesting, huh?  ABC was suddenly missing from all of our TVs on the day of the Oscars, only to return to the air about 15 minutes into the ceremony.  Of course, we had all made alternate viewing plans.  My friends had to relocate a party they had been planning.

In fact, in the year I’ve been a Cablevision customer, there have been three (three!) interruptions of service.  I’m sure the networks and channels’ parent companies are as much to blame in the situation, but all I have helping me judge is a condescending message that is read by a calming female voice whenever I turn on my TV.  Well, you know what, Cablevision?  I don’t care who’s to blame.  All I care about is getting the services I pay (a lot) of money for.  And I care that I wasn’t able to see my friend Rachel on her Food Network reality show when it began airing.  You took Food Network from me?!  How could you?!  I had to watch it online.  So let that be a warning to get your shit together, cable companies, because the Internet is reading this post right now, laughing it’s streaming-content ass off.

BTW, here’s Buster Posey:

Oh my god.  I haven’t blogged in awhile because when you last heard from me, I was preparing for the arrival of eleven family members.  Before they came, I had another friend come stay with me, so I needed to clean my apartment.  All of this plus my work, improv, and Patty & Emily duties, then the actual arrival of my family, meant I’ve been extremely busy.  Add to all of this my crazy and you have a very overwhelmed Patty.  And yet, the visit was a success!  My family, I hope, had a great time.  And while I may have stressed out too much, as I am wont to do, I also had a great time.  I got to go to a lot of tourist sites I hadn’t been to, and some others I didn’t mind visiting again.  And I got to share Memphis with them!  That may have been my favorite part.  That and spending time with my nieces and nephew.  Oh man, are they cute!

Of course, all this family time left me behind on my TV!  It’s the beginning of the season, and I’m behind on almost all of my scripted shows!  I’ve kept up with my competition reality shows for fear of being spoiled: your ANTM, you Top Chef: Just Desserts, your Project Runway.  I did let DWTS fall by the wayside, though.  Perhaps I’ll just skip the aired episodes and start off next Monday.  As stated, it’s a show I’m not 100% invested in.  The two scripted shows I am on top of are Glee and Bones.  I mean, I obviously can’t wait too long to watch Glee.  I’ll be watching this week’s ep as soon as I’m done here.  And Bones is my current Dawson’s, my Gilmore Girls.  The show whose characters I can’t be without even if the writers don’t always do them justice.  (That season premier was a waste of an episode, but last week’s was great.)  But I’m behind on, I think, every other show I watch.  I have to catch up on 30 Rock because the live episode is this week.  And then there’s The Good Wife and Mike & Molly.  I haven’t even watched their premiers!  Geez.  I’m getting tired just thinking about everything I have to watch.  Good thing I love it.

And just like my family’s visit and the sheer amount of TV I have to watch, I’ve been a little overwhelmed, in a good way, the past few days thanks to Patty & Emily.  We got some more great news regarding the Mutual Admiration Society we’ve formed with Memphis.  And we’ve had a little more Internet magic (which of course is where the Mutual Admiration Society began) courtesy of Twitter.  You see, we made this little video, An Open Letter to Kristin Chenoweth, about out concerns for her Internet safety.  Well, a friend of hers sent it to her, and she tweeted about it!  She called it “HIGHlarious,” and now fangirls every where are cursing us for advising her to stop tweeting her location.  We got negative YouTube comments!  Complete with poor grammar.  I can’t tell you how happy that makes me.  So, yeah.  I have a lot of sleep to catch up on, a lot of crumbs to vacuum up (three kids in my two room apartment), a lot of TV to watch, and a lot of poorly worded comments to read.  But I’ll definitely take feeling this kind of overwhelmed rather than being underwhelmed with my life…or even just being whelmed (which I think you can be in Europe).

Britney Spears and I have a complicated relationship. (Of course, it’s probably safe to say Britney has a complicated relationship with most people.) It’s always been that way. Part of me loves her, but part of me really, really hates her. Britney rose to fame when I was a sophomore in high school. That was before I admitted I liked dance pop for some stupid reason. I had some idea that I was better than everyone (shocking, right?!), and dance pop was below me. I was a jackass. It wasn’t until my friend Heather opened my eyes to the amazingness of *NSYNC the Halloween of ‘99 that I truly realized how much I loved a great beat, catchy melody, and singable lyrics.

At first, my main issue with Britney wasn’t the quality of her music (though at the time I clearly thought it was lacking). I really objected to two things, one I still firmly believe and one I’m still on the fence about. Both of these things I addressed in a letter to my high school’s newspaper, The Prospector. How I wish I had that issue with me. I mean, I do still have that issue; I obviously kept it. It’s just back at home with the rest of my keepsakes. I felt compelled to get on my high horse and respond to an article about Ms. Spears (how I referred to her in the letter), which I believe was about her performance at the 2000 VMAs. You know which one I’m talking about. My two points of contention were her lip-syncing and the inappropriate strip tease she performed.

As to the latter, I’m still conflicted on this issue. I do think it’s stupid for any performer to give the “I’m not trying to be a role model” speech because you should always be held responsible for your actions, whether you’re Britney Spears on national television or me at Maggie’s Christmas party last year (sorry I slapped so many people!). But I also feel it’s up to the parents to be aware of what their kids are listening to and watching. They also need to take responsibility. And perhaps use the Miley Cyrus pole dancing incident as a “teachable moment,” as Oprah calls it.

I’m still as stubborn as my teenage self, however, on the issue of lip-syncing. It’s not cool. It’s never appropriate. I don’t care who you are or what venue you’re performing in. If you bill yourself as a singer, if you release CDs on which your vocals are heard, you should be singing live. Yes, I know Britney’s a dancer, but so’s Beyonce, y’all! Her crazy dad made Destiny’s Child go running while they sang to build up breath control. That is what I’m talking about. Britney does occasionally sing, but it’s usually labored and strained. And she used to be able to. If only she’d put the same amount of effort into building up her vocal talent as she did building up her image, think what a strong singer she’d be.

There’s one thing I’m not confused about: she’s entertaining. Whether it was watching her fall apart (Schadenfreude! Thanks for helping me spell that, Avenue Q!), watching her first attempt at a comeback (more schadenfreude), or just jamming out at my desk to Stronger today, I am entertained by her. Her bad songs are just as entertaining as the good ones. Stronger is amazing and Lucky is ridiculous, but they’re both on my iPod. It’s also really fun to imitate her. And even her acting in Crossroads wasn’t terrible, though the movie was (Side note — did you know Shonda Rhimes wrote that? The creator of Grey’s Anatomy?! Weird, right?) So, I haven’t watched Glee yet, but I know I’ll enjoy it because if her cameo is terrible, I’ll laugh, and if it’s great, I’ll enjoy!

Guys!  It’s Tuesday night!  And that means Glee is back!  I was so excited for this!!!  Now, I did take notes during the episode, but I promise, I won’t just recap the entire episode.  I know not all of you watch Glee (though you should), and some of you who do may not have watched yet.  But based on my notes, here are a few observations (Careful, though, there may be things some people might consider spoilers.):

1. Rachel has new bangs.  Methinks Lea Michele wanted to look prettier.

2. You can tell they make TV shows ahead of time.  The “hit songs” they do are Empire State of Mind and Billionaire.  Maybe it’s me, but I’m kind of over those songs.  They better do my new jam, Fuck You, at some point.  And no radio version.  Just beep that shit out!

3. No specifics, but this episode is pretty racist, and it’s hilarious.

4. Sue was OUTSTANDING!  Great quips and dog poop cookies!

5. I wish this Sue PSA had been part of the actual show.

6. The new lady (I use that term lightly) football coach reminds me of Miss Trunchbull from Matilda.  Put Finn in the chokey!

7. Okay, here I am going to get specific.  Someone introduces that they’re going to sing “Listen from the movie Dreamgirls.”  Rachel makes a point of saying it was a Broadway show first.  That may be true, Rachel, but the song Listen was written specifically for the movie, so it’s not an incorrect statement.  Think.

8. Burlesque ad!  Another thing I’m excited for!

9. Cheyenne Jackson!

10. The final musical number was what I had been waiting for since the season one finale in June.  Thank you.

11. Oh, I thought I was done, but then they showed the preview for the Britney episode next week.  It’s going to be epic.  Another thing to look forward to!!!  Thanks, Glee!

It’s always best to be cautious when welcoming in a new season. Those first couple of weeks are dicey — you never know if it’s going to be t-shirt warm or jacket cold. In fact, I’m outside, and it went from one to the other as I sat here. But I’m not afraid to say it: I’m so glad it’s finally fall! In my rankings of the seasons, fall comes in at two, behind winter and ahead of spring, with summer bringing up the rear. Weather-wise, I think fall and spring might tie, but in activities and treats, fall takes the (pumpkin-flavored) cake.

Perhaps my favorite thing about the fall is Halloween. Oh man, do I love Halloween. I love getting dressed up. I’m totally going to be that mom who still wears a full costume to hand out candy. And if you’ve read this blog, you know my stance on Halloween candy — maybe this year, trick-or-treaters! I pride myself on never having repeated a costume (at least once I started choosing them myself), and can tell you what I’ve been every year since kindergarten. Some highlights: 3rd grade: The Statue of Liberty, 5th grade: a Stop Sign, 9th grade: Pippi Longstocking, 11th grade: a Newsie (duh), 12th grade: Daria, Soph year of college: Kelly Osbourne, last year: a Walk of Shame. I also have this (apparently annoying) habit of keeping my costumes a surprise. It’s not because I think they’re super amazing, but just because I think it’s fun for everyone to show up to work or school or wherever and all be surprised. So, I do have an idea of what I’m going to be this year, but I’m certainly not going to tell you!

I’m also a huge fan of all things food that come with fall. Pumpkin flavored everything. Apple cider, hot and cold. Thanksgiving-y and harvest-y foods. You know it’s fall when you walk into a Starbucks and see the Pumpkin Spice latte up on their specials board. I got one the other day! Not from Starbucks, but still… Food related activities are also super fun. When I was little, we always went apple picking every fall, an extremely country thing for our very suburban family to do. It was so much fun. And the pies that would be made! Oh, the pies! Two years ago, my mom, sisters, and little nieces came out in September, and we went apple picking. Well, they (and a zillion other relatives, including my dad and a nephew who hadn’t been born yet) are coming back in a few weeks, and apple picking is penciled in on the itinerary. Plus, there’s always the trip to the pumpkin patch! Now that I have a nephew in the city, Halloween is going to be even more fun!

As for fall entertainment, there’s obviously great TV to look forward to (as previously blogged about), and fall baseball! It’s one of the best times to go see a ball game (depending on how your team is doing). Hopefully my White Sox can “cinch it up, and hunker down” as Hawk Harrleson says, and end this season with a bang! The theatre season is also starting, and while many shows I’m excited for aren’t opening until 2011, there are some great shows opening this fall. Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson, which I missed at The Public, is thankfully coming to Broadway. I’m also interested to see Elf and can’t wait for Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown, obvi (Patti! Sherie! Laura!) And don’t forget movies. The one I’m absolutely salivating over is The Social Network. Oh, man. It. Looks. Epic. Not to mention Part 1 of HP and The Deathly Hallows. All in all, I think this fall is shaping up to be pretty shamzing!