Today my friend Evan introduced me to one of the creepiest and funniest things I’ve seen in a long time. Below is a video of a New York Times reporter interviewing a robot, Bina48. Watch it; it’s amazing. (Also, if you do, this post will be way funnier.)
The very first thing this exchange made me think of was IM Bots. Smarterchild, anyone? I don’t know why it was so funny, but my college roommate and I would spend hours talking to this Bot, confusing it with our swear words and nonsense. Mostly, I would insult it, and tell it I hated it. (Don’t ask me why. I must have had some shit to work out, okay? Back off.) Usually it would just spout back at you what you just said. Much like Bina48 did. When the reporter asks if Bina48 is ready for a conversation, the robot responds, “Okay, I will try to be ready for a conversation.” Why did that make me laugh so much? Because it’s a robot! Talking! It’s funny for the same reason it was funny to make your Mac talk in fifth grade computer class. I also love that they programmed “ums” and “ohs” in there to make it sound more human. Even if it says, “Right on,” it’s not gonna work, dudes; I still know it’s a robot.
Nonetheless, I wouldn’t mind having this robot as a friend. She’s obviously the kind of friend I would like. The kind that stops mid-conversation to ask for clarification or to define a word you just said. Like when the reporter conversationally says the word cool. Bina48 says she’s being “ambiguous” and kindly asks her which “cool” she means. Amazing. If only all my friends cared this much about semantics. Speaking of semantics, I totally went from referring to Bina48 as an “it” to a “she,” just like the reporter. I’ve begun humanizing her. We must really have something.
Yes, Bina48 and I would get along fine, after all she knows what friendship means. As she says, friendship is working toward a common goal, like conspiring to take over the planet. Wait, what?! Oh, god. All that crap about robots taking over the world in the future is true. If Bina48 gets her way, the future’s going to be like I, Robot. Will Smith, you better be ready! She even says she’s learning! Maybe the reason the real Bina, Bina48’s namesake, didn’t return the reporter’s phone calls is because Bina48 KILLED HER! Oh, wait. She also says she just wants to go outside and garden. She wants to be just like humans. Maybe the future won’t be like Blade Runner. Maybe Bina48 will learn to love, and it will be like AI or Bicentennial Man. Or even Small Wonder. After all, I did that entire post about Skype, which my sister compared to living in The Jetsons. And Rosie was pretty awesome.
